Wednesday, September 03, 2014

An Insecure Writer

I came across this blog of an author that had a page dedicated to this loose community called the Insecure Writers Support Group
I need it. 

Even though it is probably useless. 

A writer is many things, none of which I understand fully. Am I a writer? I do not think so, not yet. I want to be a writer. I occasionally try to be a writer. But I am not one yet. I have not stopped anything in my life to write instead. Writing has not taken precedence over anything else. So I am a husband, a physicist, amateur programmer, and much more of a reader than a writer. But I would like to be a writer. So why don't I write?

Insecure is not an adjective I usually attach to myself. I am not insecure, I know I write well. I know I am not the next Nobel or Booker or Hugo, but I know I could be decent if I tried. I like to say I just don't have the time to write. It takes me so long to write a blog post, so long to edit and polish it, that I just cannot afford the time. Because I am trying to do all the other things that will 'secure' me a stable job that I like so that I can write when I can find the time. Which is never. Because I cannot drop everything and just write, what if no one wants to read it... what would I be then? An insecure writer? 

No one can change anything to help a writer, much less one in denial, feel less insecure. All they can do is start an imaginary support group which, if you look closely through the websites and badges and words of advice, really is just ... a reader.

And that is all a writer needs...

4 comments:

  1. This post strikes me as paradoxical. You have written something which makes you a writer and though you say you are not insecure, this post seems to ooze with doubts. Perhaps we need more information from you, but then that might only raise more questions. You are right about the essence of time--it is a valuable commodity that must be budgeted properly in order to be used with the greatest effectiveness.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  2. I am glad I was able to convey the conflict in my head... that was my intent... thanks for reading Lee...

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  3. Welcome to the IWSG!
    You write, so you are a writer.
    It does take time and sacrifice. When you're ready to jump in, toss that insecurity and just do it.

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    1. thanks ninja captain :P working on it... slloooooowwly

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